Coaches

The amazing team of men and women that coach us to victory!

  • Head Coach - H.N. ICY
  • Vet Coaches - Aleithal Weapon, H.N. ICY, Conquistadorable, and TheMasterHater
  • Bird Coaches - Octopusshy, Spankenstein, and Slice N Dice
  •  
  • Junior Derby Coaches
  • Head Coach - Red TornadHo
  • Assistant Head Coach - SamBam
  • Assistant Coaches - Dirty Hippie and Quick-Fire
  • Junior Rec League Head Coach - Moaning Lisa

Aleithal Weapon

Coaches

Aleithal Weapon Photo
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Coaching Level: New Skaters

Years of Coaching: May 2010

Experience: I've been teaching middle school for 10 years. During that time I've also been in charge of leading outdoor education field trips to the Sierra Nevada and Coastal mountain ranges. I also coach middle school girls basketball, four seasons now.

Where do you draw your inspiration: My inspiration comes from the natural world, primarily the mountains and coast. When I'm not on the track, I'm skiing, backpacking, and exploring the land, air, and sea. And spandex pants with booty shorts because it makes me feel like a superhero!

Goals you hope to achieve by coaching: As an athlete, I think mastering basic skills is essential. Establishing a strong foundation is important in any sport, including roller derby. I want to inspire my same passion for track wide domination to all our incoming athletes.

Aleithal Weapon

Anomie of the State

Capitol Punishers, Coaches, Sac City Rollers

Anomie of the State Photo
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Number: 503

Member Since: September 2012

Derby Heroine: Sandrine Rangeon (Francey Pants)

Derby Wife: None

Loves: Dinosaurs, tea, snark

Hates: Short jokes, being left out of the loop

Fun Fact: Anomie (pronounced An-Oh-Me) is a mismatch between personal standards and wider social standards, resulting in that individual's rejection of the self-regulatory values that hold a society together. It is described as: "a rule the lack of rule" and "an insatiable will". A state of anomie creates an enemy of the state.

Favorite Derby Position: In play.

Personal Theme Song: Bree Sharp - "A Cheap and Evil Girl"

Personal Motto: Practice makes permanent.

Why Derby? It makes me do all the things that scare me most. It makes me happy.

Anomie of the State

Bird Dog

Coaches, Folsom Prison Bruisers

Bird Dog Photo

Number: 415

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Bird Dog

Chelle Shock

Capitol Punishers, Coaches

Chelle Shock Photo

Number: 52

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Chelle Shock

Conquistadorable

Capitol Punishers, Coaches, Sac City Rollers

Conquistadorable   Photo

Number: 1492

Member Since: February 2013

Derby Wives: Octopusshy and Estrella Negra-- We were married in Vegas in 2013 at RollerCon. Pusshy Skyped in her vows from a sketchy Starbucks parking lot. It was a very classy wedding followed by a pants-off dance-off.

Loves: Dancing, cooking, good deals, road trips, volleyball, hula hooping, happy people, bright colors and spicy food.

Hates: Mushrooms and intolerant people

Worst Injury: nothing yet, knock on wood!

Favorite Derby Position: Butt butt in the gut

Personal Theme Song: Mama Said Knock You Out

Fun Fact: I have traveled, lived, or worked on every continent except Antarctica.

Personal Motto: Conquer the angry man by love. Conquer the ill-natured man by goodness. Conquer the miser with generosity. Conquer the liar with truth. ― The Dhammapada

Why Derby?: Derby bridges health and fitness with friendship, community, philanthropy, and FUN!

Conquistadorable

Dirtie Hippie

Coaches, Folsom Prison Bruisers, Sac City Rollers

Dirtie Hippie Photo
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Number: 1LUV

Member Since: Aug 2010

Awards:

Derby Heroine: all derby players who hold themselves with honor and respect for the sport and its players is a heroine to me......."a woman admired and emulated for her achievements and qualities". To choose one to fit this description would be impossible for me. I find something to admire and emulate in all my sisters

Derby Wife: I am polyamorous. I have 2 wives so far and I love them dearly. Bust-Her Posey and Lady Hates currently rock my derby world. I am always open for more derby love.

Loves: Love is what I do, I love you and her and him and us and we. As for my love of derby, I love the give and take, the punishment and forgiveness. The spirit of the team.

Hates: Not my bag baby. I try not to hate anything. I'd rather embrace the pain and pleasure of life equally.

Fun Fact: I love to "finger" things out.

Worst Injury: I broke my toe once........SKIPPING through the daisies.

Favorite Derby Position: BOTTOM.............my bottom all up in an opposing blockers GUT!

Personal Theme Song: Bob Marley's "One Love" or Queen's "Crazy Little Thing Called Love"

Personal Motto: If I'm not connected then I'm connecting.

Why Derby?: Derby is a place for all us hopeless sinners. it's my heaven on wheels.

Dirtie Hippie

H.N. ICY

Capitol Punishers, Coaches, Sac City Rollers

H.N. ICY Photo

Number: 15

Member Since: August, 2008

Derby Heroine: Purdy Grrrl (sshh, don't tell her)

Loves: Derby, hitting bitches, and my dog

Hates: Haters

Worst Injury: Pulled Muscle, Concussion

Favorite Derby Position: Jamming (LMAO) Blocker

Personal Theme Song: Mims - "Move"

Awards: Most Feared 2012, Best Derby Wives 2011, Best Blocker 2009, Best Blocker vs Santa Cruz

Derby Wives: Too Short, Tripping Billie & Quick-Fire

Loves: Derby, Hitting Bitches, and my dog

Fun Fact: I can beat anyone at Tetris

Why Derby?: Born to do it. Just ask my mom!

H.N. ICY

Lady Killer

Coaches

Lady Killer Photo
Folsom Prison Bruisers Default

Number: 1309

Member Since: October 2013

Derby Wife: Elsie Dagger of Kent Roller Girls

Loves: Positivity, theatre, gluten free sugar free vegan food

Hates: Negativity

Worst Injury: Injury free and intend to stay that way

Favourite Derby Position: Wherever I can benefit my team

Personal Theme Song: Killing in the name of - Rage Against the Machine

Fun Fact: I run a pole fitness school at the University of Kent in England

Personal Motto: No should, no guilt, no shame

Why Derby?: I love everything about it

Lady Killer

Lipstick Librarian

Coaches, Retired Skaters

Lipstick Librarian Photo
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Number: 796.21

Member Since: April 2009

Awards: Most Athletic 2012, Most Improved 2010, Best Derby Couple 2010 (with the lovely Weapon!), MVP Bruiser in OC (April 2010), Best Librarian to Bring the Pain (SN&R 2011)

Loves: Reading, the library, "the ladies", coaching new skaters

Hates: Poor grammar, excuses

Worst Injury: Torn PCL

Favorite Derby Position: Anywhere the team needs me!

Personal Theme Song: Adam Ant - "Goody Two Shoes"

Derby Wife: Haven't you seen my "Weapon por Vida" tattoo? Aleithal Weapon's the woman for me.

Fun Fact: Yes, I am an actual librarian.

Why Derby?: How could I not skate derby?

Lipstick Librarian

Moaning Lisa

Coaches, Folsom Prison Bruisers, Sac City Rollers

Moaning Lisa Photo
Folsom Prison Bruisers Default

Number: 8U2

Member Since: 2011

Personal Theme Song: You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC

Fun Fact: I Love Feet

Personal Motto: If you believe it, you achieve it.

Moaning Lisa

Octopusshy

Capitol Punishers, Coaches, Sac City Rollers

Octopusshy   Photo

Number: 007

Member Since: February 2013

Derby Wife: Estrella Negra and Conquistadorable (who also happen to be the best roommates and friends on earth)

Loves: jelly beans (except the black ones, gross), traveling, my neice Arria, Europe, reading, intelligence, perseverence, (not necessarily in that order)

Hates: goat/sheep cheese, black jelly beans, willful ignorance, deer ticks, narrow minded people,

Worst Injury: a broken heart (no notable derby related injuries, knock on wood!)

Favorite Derby Position: in a low squat, chest up, upright on my skates. Jamming, blocking, cheering from the bench for my team, it's all my favorite. Cliche, I know :)

Personal Theme Song: 'El Scorcho' by Weezer

Fun Fact: Monkeys kind of freak me out, which is ironic because the original Planet of the Apes is amongst my favorite films.

Personal Motto: the entirety of 'Invictus' by William Earnest Henley, but my favorite line from that poem is: 'It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.'

Why Derby?: I originally tried SCR's rec league because I was new in town and wanted to make friends. But I stuck around because I stumbled across a community of strong, confident, athletic women who've become family.

Octopusshy

Quick Fire

Capitol Punishers, Coaches

Quick Fire   Photo
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Number: 69

Member Since: October, 2009

Awards: MVP Humboldt (July 2010), Best Jammer Mendo (November 2010), Rookie of the Year for 2010, Best Jammer 2011

Derby Heroine: La Lucha

Derby Wife: H.N. Icy of w/ sister wives Tripping Billie & Too Shorty

Loves: My hubby, my kids, hockey and NASCAR.

Hates: Liars and crickets.

Fun Fact: I am a natural redhead and I love fishing and drinking beer!

Favorite Derby Position: Jammer

Personal Theme Song: Don't have one...

Personal Motto: If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it!

Why Derby?: So many wonderful reasons but mostly because I LOVE IT!

Quick Fire

Red Tornadho

Capitol Punishers, Coaches, Sac City Rollers

Red Tornadho   Photo
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Number: 1013

Member Since: August 2009

Derby Heroine: All the Rude Girls

Derby Wife: Single

Loves: All things derby, my husband, the New York Giants and New York Cocktails!

Hates: Assholes and thieves

Fun Fact: My "grown up" 18th birthday party was at a skating rink!

Worst Injury: None yet (fingers crossed it won't happen)

Favorite Derby Position: Love them all!

Personal Theme Song: Rancid - "Whirlwind"

Personal Motto: "It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get back up." -- Vince Lombardi

Why Derby?: Why not?

Red Tornadho

SamBam

Coaches

SamBam   Photo

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SamBam

Slice N Dice

Capitol Punishers, Coaches

Slice N Dice   Photo

Number: 86

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Slice N Dice

Spankenstein

Capitol Punishers, Coaches, Sac City Rollers

Spankenstein   Photo
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Number: 279kv

Member Since: January 2006

Awards: MVP 2007, Best Blocker 2010

Derby Heroine: Bonnie D. Stroir, San Diego Derby Dolls

Derby Wife: I left my first wife, Brawllen Angel, at the altar. Followed by a brief engagement to Jezebel Jett. Married to Johnny Rainbow, but divorced after a year. And have since been very happily married to my super scorchin' wife, Suburban Slayer

Loves: Little dogs in sweaters. Glitter. Spandex. Lame. Anything with sequins. Unitards. Tassles. Leotards. Anything in miniature. Finger foods

Hates: Scrapbooking; individuals who use the words guesstimate or chillax; questionairres

Fun Fact: I posses a variety of alter egos, most of whom are alcohol induced. Holly is a fan favorite. She is an aggressive southern housewife with an affinity for causing a ruckus

Worst Injury: Given? I've really lost count. Couple broken legs, bruised liver, hyper extended wrists - this list just goes on. Received? I think I chipped a nail once. Or maybe it was my nail polish

Favorite Derby Position: On top. Of the jammer.

Personal Theme Song: Phil Collins - "In The Air Tonight"

Why Derby?:...because it keeps me from strangling people on a daily basis.

Spankenstein

TheMasterHater

Coaches

TheMasterHater   Photo

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TheMasterHater

Uncivil ShepHard

Coaches, Folsom Prison Bruisers

Uncivil ShepHard Photo

Number: 02

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Uncivil ShepHard