Retired Skaters

Aleithal Weapon

Retired Skaters, Sac City Rollers

 Aleithal Weapon Photo
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Member Since:May 2009

Awards: Worst Bruise of 2009, Rookie of the Year 2009, Best Derby Wives 2010, Sportswomanship 2011 & 2012

Derby Heroine: I love all the dedicated and hard working derby ladies of SCR

Derby Wife: Lipstick Librarian because reading is sexy!

Loves: Teaching science, playing and coaching girls' basketball, beach volleyball, supporting local farmers/vendors/musicians, and skating!

Hates: Getting injured, missing something good while I'm sleeping, and the lack of common sense these days

Fun Fact: My first kiss was on roller skates

Worst Injury: The award winning "Africa" bruise

Favorite Derby Position: Jammer, because I love scoring points

Personal Theme Song: The Commodores - "Brick House"

Personal Motto: "I can do this!"

Why Derby?: Derby brings balance to my life by helping me keep a strong mind, body, and spirit

Aleithal Weapon

Bazook A Sault

Retired Skaters

Bazook A Sault Photo
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Number: 1781

Member Since: Jan 2011

Derby Heroine: LL, Leithal, and Icy just to name a few.

Loves: Skating, sailing, dancing, and teamwork.

Hates: I have a strong dislike for whiners and lazy butts.

Worst Injury: Knock on wood, nothing worse then the month of June when I couldn't straighten my leg.

Favorite Derby Position: I like to mix it up.

Personal Theme Song: Stir It Up

Derby Wife: Scarlett JoSlams'em, Ronnie Jane Diva & Bitch-Slap Betty.

Fun Fact: I have a birthmark that looks suspiciously like a skate.

Personal Motto: Focus Zooka, focus!

Why Derby?: It's not why derby it's why not derby?  I feel that I should have been doing this all my life.

Bazook A Sault

La Lucha

Retired Skaters

La Lucha Photo
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Number: 5

Member Since: March, 2005

Derby Heroine: My teammates who dedicate 110% of themselves on and off the track; they are my inspiration!

Loves: Tailgating (not what you do in the parking lot), Red Bull and can't forget Motormouth

Hates: Flakes and derby drama

Worst Injury: Broke my ankle and have the screws and plates to prove it

Favorite Derby Position: I like them all, minus 2

Personal Theme Song: Gwen Stefani - "Hollaback Girl"

Awards: MVP 2009, 2010, 2011, AND 2012! Best Jammer 2012, Best Derby Couple 2012, Most Inspirational 2008

Derby Wife: I am staying single!

Fun Fact: I love to dance and dare anyone to challenge me!

Personal Motto: "Skate until ya' puke!"

Why Derby?: It saved my life!

La Lucha

Lipstick Librarian

Coaches, Retired Skaters

Lipstick Librarian Photo
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Number: 796.21

Member Since: April 2009

Awards: Most Athletic 2012, Most Improved 2010, Best Derby Couple 2010 (with the lovely Weapon!), MVP Bruiser in OC (April 2010), Best Librarian to Bring the Pain (SN&R 2011)

Loves: Reading, the library, "the ladies", coaching new skaters

Hates: Poor grammar, excuses

Worst Injury: Torn PCL

Favorite Derby Position: Anywhere the team needs me!

Personal Theme Song: Adam Ant - "Goody Two Shoes"

Derby Wife: Haven't you seen my "Weapon por Vida" tattoo? Aleithal Weapon's the woman for me.

Fun Fact: Yes, I am an actual librarian.

Why Derby?: How could I not skate derby?

Lipstick Librarian

One Hot Mess

Retired Skaters

One Hot Mess   Photo
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Number: 89

Member Since: October 2009

Awards: UDR

Derby Heroine: H.N.ICY, Annie Reksic, and Stinger. I love to watch them skate

Derby Wife: Velvet Vixen

Loves: My family, a good book, going out with the girls

Hates: Stupid-ass people

Fun Fact: I have seven kids

Worst Injury: None yet!

Favorite Derby Position: Blocker

Personal Theme Song: "Hell on the Heart"

Personal Motto: Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain!

Why Derby?: Why not?

One Hot Mess

Roll'n Di

Retired Skaters

Roll'n Di Photo
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Number: 7

Member since: August 2011

Derby Heroine: Icyredluchalibarianweaponspanks...

Loves: my boys!

Hates: crying

Worst injury: two jammed (maybe broken) fingers X-ray tech said, "Yeah that doesn't look right."

Favorite Derby Position: upright!

Fun Fact: I do roller derby!

Personal Motto: Always give 100%!

Why derby? Little ones can play hard too!

Roll'n Di


Retired Skaters

Scandaliz   Photo
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Number: 60/40

Member Since: April 2007

Awards: Stinkiest Pads - three years in a row!!!

Derby Heroine: Bonnie D. Stroir, Purdy Grrrl, La Lucha, Spankenstein

Derby Wife: Aman Destroyer

Loves: Chocolate, cold beer, lazy Sunday evenings, international soccer

Hates: Traffic, inconsiderate cubemates, Speidi

Fun Fact: My right leg is bigger than my left prior to derby. Derby has only made it worse!

Worst Injury: *Knock on wood* Bruises and sore muscles

Favorite Derby Position: Pivot, in the pack

Personal Theme Song: Mika - "Love Today"

Personal Motto: "I got this."

Why Derby?: I play soccer and softball and have been athletic and competitive all my life. Derby was just a natural progression, and is a perfect blend of athleticism and feminism.


Scarlett JoSlams'em

Retired Skaters

Scarlett JoSlams'em   Photo
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Number: 27

Member Since: February 2010

Awards: Best Booty 2010, 2011,AND 2012!

Derby Heroine: Scald Eagle

Derby Wife: Bitch-Slap Betty and Ronnie Jane Diva are my ladies, along with my newest wife Bazook A Sault!

Loves: Punctuality, red wine, my family, my kitty, mini-golf

Hates: Tardiness, black licorice, algae, biting into fuzzy fruit

Fun Fact: I really like climbing trees

Worst Injury: Rib cartilage got separated from my sternum.  That was painful

Favorite Derby Position: Wherever I'm needed

Personal Theme Song: Robyn - "Dance Hall Queen"

Personal Motto: Life is what you make it

Why Derby?: It keeps me balanced

Scarlett JoSlams'em


Retired Skaters

Skellawhore   Photo

Number: Room 237 (Haven't you seen The Shining?)

Member Since: January 2008, Transfer from the Burning River Roller Girls in Cleveland, OH

Awards: Skater of the Month July 2010, Worst Injury 2011

Derby Heroine: Kill Basa of the Ohio Roller Girls (my first Team Captain)

Derby Wife: Stiv Skator (now retired) from the LA Derby Dolls

Loves: Laughter

Hates: Excuses, Whiners and Teams who think they are too cool for the room.

Fun Fact: Producer of The Rob, Arnie & Dawn Radio Show!

Worst Injury: Torn ACLs in both knees. Don't wear cheap kneepads!!!!

Favorite Derby Position: Any position outside of the penalty box

Personal Theme Song: Big News II by Clutch

Personal Motto: Don't be a pussy.

Why Derby? Why breathe? And because there are no Pinball Leagues


Some Rap Guy's Girlfriend

Retired Skaters

Some Rap Guy's Girlfriend   Photo

Number: CH3F2O

Member Since: August, 2009

Derby Heroine: Everyone who has enough stones to keep on keepin' on in this sport

Derby Wife: Alie Sin Chains

Loves: Vodka and anything, a Giants game on a warm spring afternoon, finding a $20 bill in your pocket you didn't know you had, and fried egg sandwiches. Thats a good day.

Hates: Hate is a very strong word

Fun Fact: I was once a Sunday school teacher. Not a very good one, but a teacher nonetheless.

Worst Injury: Broken rib on my first scrimmage

Favorite Derby Position: Anywhere on skates

Personal Theme Song: Sir Mix-a-Lot - "Baby Got Back"

Personal Motto: "Life is way easier to take with a grain or two of salt, some tequilla, and good friends."

Why Derby?: Because skating is a fundamental aspect of a well-balanced diet according to the Surgeon General.

Some Rap Guy's Girlfriend

Sweet Cheeks

Retired Skaters

Sweet Cheeks Photo
Folsom Prison Bruisers Default

Number: 1773

Member Since: 2006

Awards: MVP 2007 game against the Vixens, and I think my wife and I have won best derby couple (If not we should)

Derby Heroine: Killah and Spanky

Derby Wife: Purdy Grrrl

Loves: too many things to write out

Hates: Iceberg Lettuce, Eggs, and Ankle Sprains

Fun Fact: I used to wear formals and petticoats, and I went to etiquette training

Worst Injury: Ankle sprain...which turned into an ever worse ankle sprain from ignoring the original ankle sprain....booted.

Favorite Derby Position: Pivot or 2

Personal Theme Song: Filthy Gorgeous

Personal Motto: Do You Know Who I Am?!

Why Derby?: Need to kick my prissiness' ass

Sweet Cheeks

Tiny Bubbles

Retired Skaters

Tiny Bubbles   Photo

Number: 4

Member Since: July 2008

Awards: Most Improved 2012, Sportswomanship 2009

Derby Heroine: Much love for all the derby ladies

Derby Wife: I'm single

Loves: An ice-cold Stella, fake mustaches, pirates, Elvis, powder blue suits with ruffles from the 70s, cuddling with my cats

Hates: Facebook monologues

Fun Fact: I love shoes, accessories and dressing for the occasion!!!

Worst Injury: Left AC separation

Favorite Derby Position: Love me some blockin'

Personal Theme Song: Don Ho - "Tiny Bubbles"

Personal Motto: Live. Love. Derby.

Tiny Bubbles

Too Short

Retired Skaters

Too Short Photo

Number: 1979

Member Since: 2008

Too Short

Tripping Billie

Retired Skaters

Tripping Billie Photo
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Number: 41

Member Since: May 2009

Derby Heroine: "Be Your own Hero"

Loves: Pixi Stix, a cold Hefeweizen, teaching, being outside, and derby

Hates: Why be a hater?

Worst Injury: Rink Rash on my upper arm that looks like a ugly birthmark (Thanks, Bipolar)

Favorite Derby Position: Blocking

Personal Theme Song: Dave Matthews Band - "Tripping Billies"


Awards: Worst Injury 2012

Personal Motto: "Live every day like it's your last!"

Why Derby?: Confident, competitive women that look sexy doing it! Why not?

Tripping Billie